Story By:  Darko Manevski, Sub-Editor:  Joseph Golder, Agency: Central European News

WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT

CEN/@DneilUCLA1

This is the moment a tough former bodybuilder nurse breaks down in tears as she talks about fighting the coronavirus on the front line in New York.

D’neil Schmall, 35, is an emergency room intensive care unit (EM ICU) nurse who voluntarily moved to New York to provide assistance.

But as this emotional video shows, after moving to New York on 30th March to help tackle the pandemic, she broke down in tears in her hotel room at the end of a long shift and because of all the death she was experiencing on the front line.

• 

• 

• 

She said she had nobody else to talk to after working since 6am. She said her mother would be worried and had not wanted her to go to New York anyway. But she said she was struggling to cope after witnessing so much death.

She said: “I am an ER ICU nurse currently in New York working a rapid response for COVID and, today was a very rough day, a real rough day.

“I just feel there is so much anyone can take. I’m tired of walking into rooms, and your patients are dead. You just walk into a room, and there’s a dead body there. I’m tired of calling families and telling them that news. I feel so much sadness to my fellow nurses, sisters and brothers, that have lost their lives taking care of people.

“I cried the whole way home, I mean the driver was like are you okay? I don’t think people understand how stressful this job is. I was trained for anything in the world but this is so stressful.

“Everyone is trying hard, everyone is trying so hard. But we got so much to do. We are humans too.

“If you have ever felt any time would be appropriate to have compassion for each other, right now is the time when we should all have compassion for each other, and try to at least acknowledge what the other person is going through. I just have so much sadness.

“I feel like I have no one to talk to. I can’t call my mum because should be worried about me, she never wanted me to come here. I can’t call my sister because I don’t want to stress them out. I have friends that are nurses and I’m pretty sure that they understand but they are going through the same thing. So the end result is you end up crying in your hotel room. Or in the bathroom. There is no one to talk to.”

She added that if her experience was anything to go by, hospitals should bring in councillors as the nurses needed to be fit to care for the people in their charge.

But she said it was a Herculean task: “We are having 10, 14 patient assignments . . . . “

“Some of them, bless their souls, can’t do anything for themselves. How can I take care of 14 people when I have one tech and they have 30 patients. It’s so bad here you guys.”

And she concluded: “I know, who cares about what we feel, it’s what we signed up for right?”

The eight minute video that was posted on 7th April details her daily work in “Central Tent-City Hospital” and has seen many people offering messages of support.

Posting a caption to the video she said: “After 4-5hrs sleep, We’re walking 8-11 miles in a 13-15hrs shift. 5–7 days a week. Only 2 water breaks. The Majority of our PPE is made out of plastic-like wearing a sweat suit all day. Assignments of 10-16 patients per nurse.”

She said the video was completely unedited and posted after the worst shift that she had ever had and that posting it had made her feel a lot better saying: “Venting was actually cathartic for me.”

She added: “I only posted it because I feel like people should know what we’re going through here. I love my job I LOVE what I do! I’m not LEAVING! But that doesn’t mean front liners aren’t human and won’t be emotions about this experience as well.”

‘Amy Massey’ wrote: “D’Neil, I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this horror, but as a fellow nurse that has worked with you. You are amazing!”

‘Vicki Buck’ added: ” D’neil… I wish I could give you a hug and tell you how much I admire you. You are an amazing human and you are dealing with the worst of the worst. I am so thankful for people like you, who are there and who are capable. Thank you for sharing… we all need reminders of what strength looks like. What vulnerability looks like. What compassion AND unity look like. These are ALL in your message.”

‘David Piecz’ added: ” God bless you and all the people on the front lines with strength. We all love and appreciate what you do. I wish I could comfort you and people with you more. I can send you words of hope. All of us are with you. God bless you and all fighting the battle for us!”

And ‘KD Cross’ : ” Dear D’Neil, We do care and I am so sorry. It’s horrible. I so clearly remember when we met on this train in Denmark that you exuded such incredible kindness. I am sure that stands true today as well. You D’neil are SO KIND..so STRONG and SO LOVED. <3 Never forget. <3 Thank you for everything you are doing.”

According to her Facebook profile she has been a “proud nurse” for many years. She set off to NY shortly after a planned trip to Australia to help the Red Cross disaster relief team in bush fire areas.

She was previously an amateur bodybuilder last known to have competed in 2016 when she took part in an Arnold Amateur International Bodybuilding contest and also the NPC Riptide Classic.

It is believed she stopped competing some years ago in order to focus on her nursing career.

The ViralTab page is created by and dedicated to professional, independent freelance journalists. It is a place for us to showcase our work. When our news is sold to our media partners, we will include the link here.